Hello Magical Souls! Thanks for tuning in to another episode of The Soul’s Human Experience Podcast!
Today’s topic is going to be about suffering. I’ve been thinking so much about it lately, mainly because I am kind of in a period of suffering myself to be honest. And I’m just feeling very much in my human side right now. If you are going through it too for whatever reason, then I just want to say I see you. I honor you. Your light is inside of you no matter how much heavy energy you might be carrying on the outside. You’re still here. I am proud of you and we’re in this together, friends.
So let’s talk about it. Suffering. Why do we suffer? Suffering is caused by you wanting things to be different than the way they are. It’s caused by you attaching yourself to a certain outcome, a specific identity, or bonding yourself to any one or any thing. Because when you do that, you have decided you know best. And by you I mean your ego. Attachments and identifications are completely, one hundred percent ego-based. You have a plan if you have a bond. And your plan is to defend it because you think it will bring you pleasure of some kind. Let’s take the example of education. We were sold this programming that you must get a higher education in order to be successful or even have a chance at having a good life. Think about how fear-based that is, what I just said. It’s a threat. Do this, or else. Right? Fear keeps you in line with the programming. So you go and get educated and you get this certificate, diploma at the end of it that says hooray you’ve completed this segment of the programming. What do you do? You identify with it. It goes on your resume, your email signature, your linkedin, you may even say “I am”…a graduate. “I am…a college-educated person”. ”I have”… a degree. Those are all attachments. Identifications in defense of your title. You need to defend it because you need to justify it. Because you were told it would bring you something. Whether or not it actually does is irrelevant. You’ve chained yourself to something that is not really you. And now it has a grip on you. That grip makes it difficult to remember your truth. The truth that you are spirit, you are the universe. Think about that for a minute. How vast, how all-encompassing that is to be the real you. How much love and freedom it is to be the real you. When you remember that greatness the attachments and identifications and the bonds you thought were so important before, are actually very limiting. So limiting that they distort your reality and make you think they’re the end all be all. It’s just a trick of the mind.
I recently saw a video of someone saying that there is always a price to pay for something good. That everything good comes at a cost. Look I’m not trying to come for this creator, I just want to educate and help. So, everything good comes at a cost? Do you think that’s true or false? It is false. It comes from a scarcity mindset and an attempt at finding a justification for suffering. Again, enter the ego. The mind wants to give meaning to everything. Especially when it comes to suffering. We want to know that we are not in pain for nothing, so what is the reason? Well here you have an example, this person justifies their suffering by saying that on the other end of it is something good. Now they can be okay with it because they’ve labeled it and justified it. In truth, goodness is abundant and in infinite supply. The idea that is must come at a cost is a dangerous limiting belief and I was disheartened to see this video had a million views and lots of people agreeing in the comments. Part of me wanted very badly to leave a comment saying how wrong and limiting it was and don’t buy into it! Don’t listen to this person! But I’m not in the business of convincing and I didn’t want to seem like a hater so I didn’t. But I can share the truth in my own way and it will reach the people it’s meant to. And it’s probably not those people. And that’s ok.
You don’t have to buy in to that false narrative. Our society largely still respects and values suffering. All the people who have achieved some level of “success” will be the first to tell you about all the sacrifices and suffering they endured on the way there. And they are admired and rewarded for that! It perpetuates the value we place on suffering and cements the illusion that life is hard. Sometimes it is, sometimes life is hard. But I believe the majority, if not all, of our suffering, is done by our own minds. And we didn’t come here to be miserable. Yet so many people are miserable. And you can get so used to it that it feels safer than feeling happy and free! So unconsciously we might actually be afraid of being without suffering. Because at least if feels familiar and predictable and safe, and not disappointing. If you experience freedom, well then certainly it can’t last forever. You’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And the drop back into suffering feels worse than never having left it at all. No, those are limiting beliefs. Freedom can be a constant. Who says it has to run out? Freedom is not on a timer. It’s the opposite, suffering is on a timer. We have it completely backward, we think suffering is forever and freedom is short-lived. Freedom is always there if you can tap into it, and then suffering is short-lived.
And what is the opposite of suffering? Joy and freedom. That’s what you’re really seeking when you try to control or change your reality. You’re hoping it will bring you freedom from suffering. The problem is we’re told and sold the idea that freedom from suffering comes from having attachments. Attachments to things and people and titles and you name it. We seek and try to manifest all these things because we think they’ll make us better or happier. That is always coming from a place of lack. You want these things because you think you lack them. You think you want them because you see someone else with them and feel that they have something you don’t. You assume there’s something fulfilling about it that fulfilled them in a way you are not currently experiencing. You get caught up in this manifestation loop. But everything you think you want and think you need is an empty shell. It’s shiny on the outside but there is nothing inside of it. What you are hoping is inside of it, peace, joy, freedom, are already accessible to you without needing anything more. Freedom is accessible to you right now.
So what does it mean to be free? It means you float in the nowhere. You attach to nothing, you identify with nothing. You just are. That also means you aren’t attaching yourself to the identity of being a greater-than spiritual being who renounces their humanness. That’s not why you came here. You came here to be human. It’s a constant dance of honoring your humanness but not getting trapped in the web of attachments that are ready to grab you at every turn. You remember who you are. Even when you’re enjoying this 3D world. You can take pleasure in all of it, but remember who you are. When you keep that perspective it becomes much more difficult to suffer, because the attachments can’t distort what you see. You see it for what it is.
I have to constantly come back to that perspective. The webs of attachment and identification are so sticky. They get me sometimes despite my best efforts. And when that happens give yourself grace. It’s ok. We’re human. We’re not perfect. It’s not supposed to be perfect. It’s messy, this journey. You’re going to get stuck in the webs. Like I said, as long as you’re human here, you won’t be able to dodge all the webs. So it’s ok. As I was saying at the beginning of the episode, recently I’ve gotten caught in the web of comparison. And it can be so so hard to detach. But I do know, deep down, that if I am being kind, and sharing love, then it’s more than enough. The minute that you place value on them, you give your own value away and put it into the hands of other people. And you can’t let other people have that power over you. Because one, it’s a false way of measuring, and two, you’ll just be constantly chasing the approval and validation. And I have a feeling, I can’t speak from experience, but I have a feeling that if you asked someone with a million followers if their source of happiness is their one million followers, they would say no. And if they said yes then they are deep in their ego and needing validation. So it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are a kind, compassionate human. And if you are sharing your light in a way that is honest and true, you’re right on time. The question is, can you allow that to be? Or is your ego already fighting it, saying, that’s not enough! That can’t be it! There must be more! More, more, more. Just sit with that. Let the objections come. You are free, your objections are free too.
How are you suffering right now? What is going on for you? What are you identifying with and attaching yourself to? And can you sit with it without wanting to push it away? Would it be possible for you to even send a little bit of loving kindness to whatever it is? Is there a possibility there for you to transmute some of that negative energy into positive energy? I’d challenge you to practice being free for a week. See what happens. For one week, give up trying to control, give up wishing things were different than the way they are, give up manifesting practices, and just allow. To quote A Course In Miracles, let all things be exactly as they are, Not needing anything or wanting for more. Just being your being. And it is a practice when I say practice. You won’t get it right every time, but there’s no pressure to. It’s just a practice to practice.
If I can help support you in that practice, you can go to my website or the show notes for the link to check out personalized support. It would be an honor for me to help you. As always, stay in touch with me. Send me an email or a message on Instagram. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself, magical souls. Because you are truly magical. Thanks for listening.